Pierre Schaeffer Would Be Rolling (His Tapes) With Laughter

Why did the Musique concrète composer become a baker? He loved working with sound “dough”!

What do you call a Musique concrète composer who won’t stop talking about their work? A “tape” recorder!

How does a Musique concrète artist start their day? With a bowl of Rice Krispies – snap, crackle, pop, and hit record!

What’s a Musique concrète composer’s favorite vacation? A “sound” trip!

What do you call a Musique concrète artist who works exclusively with recordings of barnyard animals? A “farm-composer”!

What’s a Musique concrète composer’s idea of a hit single? Twenty minutes of distorted bus brakes followed by a brief silence that critics call “hauntingly provocative”!

What do you call a Musique concrète composer’s favorite meal? Sound soup – just blend random kitchen noises and call it dinner!

Why didn’t the Musique concrète piece get invited to the orchestra party? It was too “tape-y”!

How many Musique concrète composers does it take to change a lightbulb? None – they just record the sound of the old one burning out and call it art.

What’s a Musique concrète artist’s favorite musical instrument? The tape recorder with a broken fast-forward button.

Why did the Musique concrète composer get kicked out of the pet store? He kept trying to record the parrots saying “this is not music!”

What’s the difference between Musique concrète and your neighbor’s construction project? One is deliberately annoying!

A Musique concrète composer walks into a coffee shop. The barista asks, “What can I get you today?” The composer replies, “Just give me your loudest espresso machine, a metal spoon, and permission to record your entire morning rush hour.” “Um, we don’t really do that,” says the confused barista. “Fine,” sighs the composer. “Then I’ll have a latte, but could you make sure the milk steamer is slightly out of tune? I’m working on a piece called ‘Caffeine Anxiety in D Minor’ and I need that perfect screech.” The barista stares blankly, then quietly whispers to her coworker, “Call security, but walk really slowly – he might want to record your footsteps.”


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